And so another couple of my friends might be getting a divorce. Shit! 42% of weddings end in divorce, but when you walk up that isle and declare that you will be together forever, those statistics always happen to other people. Then routine happens. Sometimes kids. Temptations. Who knows.
What shocks me every time that a couple of friends splits up is the fact that it always seems to happen to the couples that you least expect. With the exception of one or maybe two of my girlfriends, all the other times I had not seen it coming. Not in the slightest.
I'm one for not taking sides, no matter the circumstances. Marriages and relationships are so volatile, fickle and hard to make work that I don't believe that there can ever be a guilty part and a totally blameless one.
I was talking to Mr H about this last night when he came up with a brilliant quote: "It always happens to the couples that you never think it would happen to, whilst the dysfunctional ones like us always seem to rattle along".
At first I was taken aback by his words, but after a pause I realised that they were quite spot on. We are the couple who never holds hands, who often sits at opposite ends of the table when at dinner with friends. He is not my entire world and I am not his. He is the certainty in my world, he is what I look forward to come home to. He has never restricted my freedom, he has never had an issue with what I get up to or whom I hang out with hence I always come home to him.
We hardly share any passions or hobbies. We like opposite movies, opposite food, opposite past times. I love diving, he loves skiing. I'm a swimmer, he's a runner. I love South America, he likes Asia. I prefer veggie food, he is a 'no-meat-no-eat' type of guy. I love Japanese food and hate Chinese, he is the exact opposite. I like silence, he likes music blasting out of the radio in every room! I like literature, he likes science.
Do you want to know how dysfunctional we are? We've lived together for over 13 years and we have always had different dinners. We each cook our own meal as it is rare that we would ever like what the other is preparing. How mental is that?* I wish I knew the recipe for the long lasting marriage, but I am secretly hoping that Mr H got it right. Maybe being dysfunctional and 'rattling along' is not such a bad thing after all.
* yes, you guessed right. Miss G also has a different taste to us, so it is dinner for 3 with 3 different meals on the table. Dysfunctional'r Us!