I started this blog when Little Miss G was a year old and when things got a bit easier for us. Had I had the
Now I know that kids come in phases and, just like fashion, what's in today, is out tomorrow. Good when it comes to crying being out of fashion, not so good when it comes to being adventurous with food, but, hey, you can't have it all!
When Miss G was crying like a baby possessed I had many comments about it and I'd be rich if I had a penny for each 'at least you know that her lungs are working fine!'. I wanted to punch these idiots in the face every time they said it, but I was too physically and mentally exhausted to do it.
I will never forget the older mum who told me 'better you than me, darling. I am too old for all that noise and I just couldn't cope. Thank God, my baby is an angel!' (Of course I secretly wish this person, whom I have cut out from my group of
The point is, JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, PEOPLE! It's not that hard!
A mere two months after the crying finally stopped, I was in A&E because Little Miss G had very low oxygen levels and couldn't breathe properly. That was the first of many emergency calls about her asthma. You see what happened there? Those stupid feckers who told me 'at least you know that her lungs are working fine' were just PLAIN WRONG! It turns out that her lungs were weak after all. The moral of the story? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, YOU PEOPLE! Just do that and we would all be happier. Simples!
* If you read this and you have a baby who is well and healthy, but will not stop crying and s/he happens to be your first and you are thinking 'why me?' and 'what am I doing wrong?', just hang in there, girlfriend! Do what you can. It is horrid, it is hellish, it's the pits, but it will go one day. That much I can promise you.
here here!! i agree fully
ReplyDeletewhat i find shocking is that other parents seem to be so opinionated over every aspect of children! its like a competition.
I agree, the 'when's the next one' is really annoying! But sometimes when there's something wrong, people just don't know what to say, and comments such as what the older mum said to you, may have been out of nervousness!
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine has a 17month old that isn't walking yet, where my DS the same age has been walking since 11 months. Everytime we meet up she always comments how her baby isn't walking. What else is there for me to say apart from "she will soon!". I'm sure she's sick of hearing it but what else should I say? If I came across someone who had a 24-7 crying baby, i'm pretty sure i'd try and say something I thought would lighten their mood (ie. Wow big lungs!)
I usually enjoy your posts, but I think you were obviously at a vunurable point in your life and may have taken these comments to heart? The amount of idle chit chat that goes on at mother and baby groups, did you not expect someone to comment on her crying, seeing how much you were struggling? Should they just ignore you, ignore the crying?What did you want them to say?
thanks for commenting and I get your idea of lightening up the mood, but I am still not convinced.
DeleteIf friends don't know what to say about my baby, just don't say anything and ask how I am. Yes, I was tired of her crying, so I might have been vulnerable, but what about 'do you want me to hold her for a while?' 'do you want to meet up more often to take your mind off the crying' or 'do you want to go out for a drink without the baby?' or otherwise nothing at all would have been nice too. I swear that hearing that comment 6-7 times a day was the second most annoying thing after her crying.
We also had a friend with a very late walker. If she brought the subject up I would have a proper chat to her about it, asking how she was honestly coping with it all and how she was feeling. She ended up being referred to a physiotherapist as it turns up that the kid would have struggled to walk without some proper work on one of her legs. In her case 'she'll walk one day' would have been a bit of a wrong comment to make. When she did not bring up the issue, I just said nothing and minded my own business, commenting on her daughter's hair or laugh or anything else.
my post was not just about the other mums, but also perfect strangers who would hear her G screaming in her buggy and felt the need for a comment!! why on earth would you? WHY?!
Having had to deal with very traumatic toddler tantrums with my first, I was relieved when my neighbour said to me, "Well done for having the patience to follow through and not give in to him when he was having a tantrum. It's hard work isn't it?" That's support right there! However, one time in town, a massive tantrum in progress, a woman came up to me and said, "I hope you are not hitting him!" I couldn't believe it. I turned to her and said, "I'd never hit my child and it is also none of your business!" So I get where you are coming from in this post.
ReplyDeleteOh flipping heck I so agree with you. You never get as many opinions from other people as when you are a parent. Everyone is a fecking expert all of a sudden.
ReplyDeleteI see similar postings from parents who get the tutting and stares and head shaking from complete strangers seeing their child "mis behaving" in shops. Not realising that the "mis behaving" is not a naughty child but one with Aspergers or Autism.
I wrote a similar post about how people say when you have two children of the same sex - so will you be trying for a girl?? Wtf!! I have two healthy boys and two is plenty for me thanks very much!
ReplyDeleteAnd dealing with tantrums in public or in front of other family/ friends is a nightmare so good on you for holding your ground and let's be honest Miss G doesn't stand a chance with your fiery Italian-ess !!
Other people, can be very judgemental when it comes to parenting.
Great post and thanks for linking up x x