I have known him for nearly 20 years (I know, I'm old!) and I've always known that we are possibly the exact opposite of each others. I often moan about things (yes, I really do!) whilst he often gets on with it. I can sometimes be a bit controlling as things need to be done
Before Little G came along, we had our balance. We were never the couple who fights all the time, nor the one who was all so lovey-dovey. The balance was based on each of us having our own space to do what we cared about. We both had jobs that involved travelling and socialising in the evening. We would often hardly see each other during the week.
At weekends we would slow down the pace of the frantic week. It was as if the work week sucked out the energy and the weekend was the time to recharge the batteries and feel the peace. We hardly ever had mad nights out and Sunday evenings were nearly always spent at the movies.
Along came Miss G and changed it all. Out were movie nights, in were nights spent working out the mortgage, talking about the logistics of life with a baby and no family around to ever bail us out for a much needed breath of fresh air sans bebe.
Mr H and I faced Miss G's allergy and asthma together, the hideous nights with a baby who could not breathe. He helped me keep strong when my redundancy came and it took a while for me to find a balance as a Stay At Home Mum.
I think I resented the fact that he still had a career and I didn't. I loved spending time with Miss G, but now that I am back at work I realise that I have been envious of the fact that he could leave the house every morning knowing that the baby was in good hands.
I was possibly jealous of his freedom because my life revolved around Miss G and every time I planned something nice, it was a certainty that she'd be unwell or something would come up. In those instances, it was mainly me who had to miss out on whatever plan I had because Mr H's work came first.
Now that I work the balance is slowly shifting back. Of course a lot of the circus act is down to me and it is stressful. I currently 'manage' a job, a nanny, a cleaner and all communications with Miss G's nursery. Another nanny is starting soon (more on that another time) and then I will have two nannies to manage. I feel like I went from 'free as a bird' to 'trapped mother' to 'circus juggler'.
Having said that, Mr H has really been stepping in to help. And I have maybe not appreciated it enough. I am never one to compare to other people and I will not start doing it now. What works for others is their business, we just need to find our own balance, whichever way suits us. I can see, however, that Mr H mostly gives fathers a good name. He is not the best, but he is far from the worst, which is exactly how I would describe me as a mum.
He has adapted to Miss G's gentle nature, he often tries and lower is voice not to irritate her. He has been sitting on the floor and playing lots of teddy bear picnic
Last night we went out for dinner and we had a great time. It is as if the balance is finally tipping back. We will always love Miss G, but we also love our time without her. The next mission is find a way to slot some time for us in the circus that our lives have become since I have been back to work, but I'm sure that we'll get there.