If you read instalment two of my saga to find a nanny for Miss G, you are aware that after discarding Word of Mouth and the Nanny Agency routes I went for the free for all solution that is Gumtree. I ended up interviewing about 8 candidates who were as bonkers as each other. Let's start with Nanny A. I swear this is a true story, feel my pain, and have a laugh.
The Celebrity Nanny
Nanny A comes from Spain and with a very interesting CV. She has a degree and a Master in Psychology and claims lots of experience with children in the local area, including two little ones called Apple and Moses, you know who I mean, right?
Nanny A arrives glammed up in all the wrong kid of way. Her dress is so tight that taking her high heeled shoes off represents a challenge. Her hair is so bouncy that I imagine a good half an hour was needed to achieve that kind of volume. Her make up suggests that she is about to embark on a big night out.
She is very friendly with Miss G and, before I even had the chance to ask her about her psychology studies, she says "I love working with girls because we can spend all day playing with hair and make-up!" Needless to say I won't ask about the psychology degree as it seems that she is more of a psyco than a psychologist!
Aware that my next 40 minutes of time were going to be a farce interviewing a nanny whom I would never hire, I decided to ask about the Martins, as you would, right?
Nanny A worked with them in LA during the summer holidays and she was their weekend nanny. I asked her if she cooked for them, but of course there was a chef. What did she do with the kids, then? Oh, they were mainly with their mum and with their friends...erm...ok, then...what exactly did you do for the family?
With a beaming smile and proud voice she says: "I used to tidy up the kids wardrobe by colours, their bookshelves by book height and depth and I was told to set up the table in the correct way with all the right cutlery and tableware"
Yes, this is exactly what I need for Miss G! Someone who will play with her hair, apply lipstick, colour code her wardrobe and make me spend a fortune on linen and tableware which I don't own.
Look out for the next instalment of mad nannies, you will not be disappointed...